Let me begin with this, Is there anyone here who is older than their spouse? Perhaps as a woman, you find yourself in the same age group as your husband but appear older than him physically. If so, how do you handle gossip, insults from your in-laws, and age-related criticisms from neighbours and friends?
I’m in my early thirties, precisely 31, while my husband is turning 30 soon. He looks younger than me and behaves like a 25-year-old. I feel more mature than him in many ways. When he found out I was older, he was okay with it, but I struggled with worries about societal perceptions. He convinced me not to be ashamed, but deep down, I wasn’t fully convinced.
We decided to keep our age difference a secret from our parents. I married him out of desperation and depression; he was my only way out. While he’s loving, I don’t love him back. He’s not financially stable, but he’s a good man. I had to teach him everything about intimacy. Though he appreciates my efforts, I’m not satisfied.
From the start, his family criticized our marriage. They thought he did me a favour by marrying me. Neighbours echoed these sentiments, adding to my despair. I even contemplated suicide. His family treated me poorly. Despite my efforts to help them, they saw me as a burden. I endured hardships like fetching water multiple times daily, which damaged my health. I felt humiliated when others commented on my physical strain.
Now we live in another city. I work, but my salary isn’t enough. My husband drives for Uber, but his car needs repairs, which I had to finance. The financial strain is immense, with creditors pressuring me.
I’ve endured abuse throughout my life, starting with my uncle who raised me and abused me sexually and emotionally. Despite sponsoring my education, he treated me differently from his children. I felt trapped, leading me to seek marriage as an escape.
I want to break free from this cycle of abuse and find happiness. My marriage isn’t fulfilling, and I’m not sure where I went wrong. I need guidance on how to move forward.
This is my story, and I seek understanding and support.
