I just had a baby and moved to my in-laws’ house due to my husband’s demand. Initially, I thought we would only stay for my child’s naming ceremony, but my son is turning a month old on Wednesday, and it seems like we’re not leaving anytime soon.
I’m hesitant to ask my husband when we’re leaving because I’m afraid he’ll get angry. He has already embarrassed and insulted me twice in front of his family since our baby was born.
My main concern is that my mother-in-law has been giving my baby herbs since he was a week old. Despite my arguments and attempts to stop them, she continues to give him these unmeasured herbal concoctions. She has given him agbo jedi and agbo oka, and now my baby has rashes. They even want to take him to a herbalist to get more herbs.
This means my three-week-old has already been given three different herbal remedies. My husband hasn’t said anything, even though I’ve told him I’m uncomfortable with this. Sometimes, my baby vomits or chokes, and I worry if it’s normal for a baby to vomit up to 40ml of breast milk. I’m not talking about the usual reflux.
My mother called to express her disapproval of the herbs, but my in-laws keep gossiping about me. I feel helpless and unable to protect my son, despite my best efforts. You know how in-laws can be, and I’m trying to avoid conflict, especially since I don’t have any family members here to support me.
Adding to my stress, the living conditions here are difficult. The house is crowded, and there’s no privacy. My baby and I share a room with two other relatives, making it hard for us to rest. The constant noise and lack of space are overwhelming.
I’ve also noticed that my in-laws don’t follow basic hygiene practices. They handle the baby without washing their hands, and I’m worried about infections. I try to insist on cleanliness, but they dismiss my concerns, saying I’m overreacting.
To make matters worse, I’m struggling with postpartum depression. The lack of support and understanding from my husband and his family is making it harder for me to cope. I feel isolated and overwhelmed, and I’m scared that my mental health is deteriorating.
What should I do? How can I stop them from giving my child anything, especially orally? How can I address these additional issues and protect my son? I feel like I’m failing to protect my son and myself, and I’m desperate for a solution.
Victoria Ibiama
