Dear Vee,
I dated my husband for three years, and throughout that time, he never showed any signs of being verbally abusive. It came as a complete shock when he started hurling hurtful insults at me. He would say things like, “You’re the reason for all my failures” and “My family and friends can’t stand you,” even though they actually liked me and often praised me for my support.
He even went as far as saying he couldn’t believe he ended up with me and criticized me in bed, claiming I didn’t get wet. But the truth is, he didn’t know how to engage in foreplay, and I had to take matters into my own hands to get any satisfaction.
One day, I had had enough. I decided to record his verbal attacks and took the recording to a DJ, asking him to mix it with beats. After paying him, I took my “new single” home and waited for my husband to return. When he came back and started his usual insults, I played the recording through my speaker and danced with all my energy. I danced so vigorously that he was convinced I had lost my mind.
Once things calmed down, he asked why I had made a song out of his insults and who had mixed it for me. I told him I enjoyed the insults so much that I wanted to dance to them and even suggested he come up with new insults for me to turn into more songs.
Now I’m wondering: what should I do next? Is this the right approach to deal with his behavior, or should I consider other options?
