I find myself in a very difficult and painful situation that I need to share, though it’s deeply upsetting and personal. My husband’s younger brother happens to be my ex-boyfriend from my university days. Before we got married, I wanted to tell my husband about my past relationship with his brother. However, my ex-boyfriend strongly advised against it, warning me that if my husband found out, he might cancel the wedding.
Because I loved my husband so much and feared losing him, I decided to keep this secret. I was already three months pregnant at that time and did not want to be seen merely as a “baby mama.” So, I stayed quiet, planning to reveal the truth after the wedding.
After we got married, I discovered that my ex-boyfriend had been living with us and would continue to do so because my husband hadn’t been able to find a separate place for him. Despite this uncomfortable situation, my husband’s love for me seemed to grow stronger.
However, a few months after the wedding, I suffered a miscarriage. During this difficult time, my brother-in-law, who was living with us, stayed by my side at the hospital while my husband was at work. I spent a week there, and this situation brought my brother-in-law and me closer, even though I had been avoiding him before.
Then, a couple of months later, my brother-in-law lost his job, and we ended up spending more time together at home. He earned my trust and respect over time, and I began to feel more comfortable around him. I thought we had developed a sibling-like relationship, but I was wrong.
One afternoon, while I was taking a nap and had forgotten to lock my room door, he entered my room. He threatened me with a knife and raped me. We live alone on our property with no immediate neighbours, so there was no one around to hear or help. He raped me and left that same day. I bled for several days and later learned at the hospital that I had lost a pregnancy that was about six weeks along.
I haven’t told my husband about the assault because I’m terrified of his reaction and his potential outburst. I’m also scared of losing my marriage and feeling utterly devastated by what happened to me. My husband believes my sadness is just due to the miscarriage, and he doesn’t know the full truth.
I’m deeply distressed and don’t know how to tell him about the assault without revealing my past relationship with his brother. I love my husband dearly, and I know he loves me too. I am struggling silently and feel overwhelmed. Please, I need advice on how to handle this situation.
