So, there’s this thing that’s really bothering me. An old schoolmate of mine, a girl I used to have a huge crush on, suddenly reached out to me on WhatsApp. This girl, let’s call her Anita, was someone I deeply cared about before I even met my wife. Back then, we were just kids, so nothing romantic ever happened between us.
About ten years ago, we reconnected briefly, and during that time, I jokingly told her she should have been my wife. She was married then, and we both laughed it off. Then I moved out of the country for a while, and we lost touch.
A few weeks ago, Anita and I reconnected again. We started chatting about our old school friends and catching up on life. Over the next couple of weeks, we shared updates through our WhatsApp Status. Anita used this to keep me informed about what’s been going on in her life, and I did the same.
Now, here’s the big problem: my wife is really unhappy about this. She’s become very distant and cold towards me. Our kids even asked her who this woman is, and she replied, “She is the one your father wanted to marry.” Ouch.
Many years ago, before my wife and I started dating, we were just family friends. I had no idea she’d eventually become my wife. At that time, I told her all about Anita, my dream woman who shared the same dreams and views as me. So, my wife knew about Anita long before we started dating.
After my wife and I began dating, a friend of mine, who was like an older brother to Anita, moved to Nigeria and became close to my fiancée (now my wife). They were very close until I left the country to sort out some issues. This friend, let’s call him Franco, isn’t in Nigeria right now, but we’re still in touch.
Recently, my wife asked me, “How would you feel if I started talking to Tony or James?” Tony was someone who used to be interested in her, and she dated James briefly. I couldn’t answer her. Then she asked, “So, Franco is now the link between you and Anita?” Franco is a nickname my kids gave to my friend. Anita wasn’t even in the picture until recently.
I left out some details about Anita because we had a falling out years ago, which hurt me a lot. We only reconnected recently. I’ve tried to let go of these old feelings, but it hasn’t been easy. So, I decided to take a break from WhatsApp, but I can’t bring myself to block her.
So, how do I keep this friendship with a woman I was, and maybe still am, interested in? It’s only a matter of time before we meet in person because Franco, her brother, will be in Nigeria before the end of the year. I don’t know anything about her current love life, but she knows how I feel. She hasn’t hinted at having feelings for me, though. I’m the one struggling with these emotions.
I don’t want to ignore or ghost Anita. What reasons would I give her? What do you suggest I do?
