Shot of a young couple having an argument while sitting on the couch at home

Dear Vee,

 

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It’s been a couple of months since my wedding in April, and I feel a storm brewing inside me. Everything seemed perfect when we tied the knot, but now, a nagging issue is causing me sleepless nights. Since we said, “I do,” my husband hasn’t made a single phone call to anyone from my family. Not one. Meanwhile, he’s constantly on the phone with his own family, chatting and laughing as if nothing else matters.

I'm so done with this!

Sure, he asks me how my family is doing occasionally, but that’s not enough for me. I expected more from him. I wanted him to call my brother, who went out of his way to support us during the wedding. My brother put in so much effort financially and emotionally to make sure our big day was special. The least my husband could do is pick up the phone and say thank you. But no, that hasn’t happened.

Whenever I see him on the phone with his mom or siblings, my heart sinks a little. I feel like my family is being sidelined, and it hurts. I don’t understand why he can’t take a few minutes to call my brother or even my parents to show appreciation. Is it so hard to dial a number and say a few kind words? It makes me feel like my family’s contributions don’t matter to him.

This behaviour has got me worried. Is it a sign of something deeper? Does he not respect my family as much as he respects his own? Or is he just oblivious to how important this is to me? These thoughts keep me awake at night, and I struggle to find peace. I keep replaying our wedding day, remembering how happy we were and wondering where things went wrong.

The other day, my brother asked me if my husband had called to thank him yet. I felt a lump in my throat as I lied and said he’s been too busy. But the truth is, it’s been bothering me so much that I’m on the verge of an emotional breakdown. My brother deserves to be acknowledged, and my husband’s silence is like a slap in the face for all the effort my family put in.

I’ve tried to drop hints to my husband. I’ve mentioned how my family asks about him and how much they appreciated his presence at the wedding. But he nods and changes the subject. It’s driving me crazy. I’m starting to feel resentment build up inside me, and I’m afraid it will explode soon.

Tomorrow, I’m planning to confront him. I want to talk seriously about this, but I’m scared. What if he doesn’t understand? What if he gets defensive, and we end up in a big fight? I don’t want to cause a rift between us, but I also can’t keep bottling up my feelings. It’s affecting my happiness and our relationship.

Should I go ahead and have this confrontation? Is it too soon to be this worried? Am I overreacting? Part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt, but another part is screaming for justice for my family. I feel torn between my love for him and my loyalty to my family.

In moments of doubt, I find myself questioning our marriage. Did I make the right choice? Is this a red flag that I should have seen earlier? It’s a painful thought, but I can’t ignore my feelings. My family means the world to me, and their support has been unwavering. Seeing them disregarded hurts more than I can express.

I’ve even considered talking to his family, but I don’t want to seem petty or start unnecessary drama. They might not understand my perspective, which could worsen things. I’m stuck in a dilemma, not knowing which path to take.

Maybe I should write him a letter explaining my feelings calmly and clearly. That way, I can avoid an immediate confrontation and give him time to process everything. But will a letter convey the depth of my emotions? I need him to see how much this means to me.

In the end, all I want is for my husband to show some respect and appreciation for my family. They deserve it, and it would mean the world to me. Is that too much to ask for in a marriage? Shouldn’t our families be equally important?

I would love to hear your advice if anyone has been through something similar. How did you handle it? Did things get better, or did it create more problems? I’m desperate for guidance because I don’t want this issue to ruin our relationship.