Tom Brady took some major hits by his former teammates, comedians and even Kim Kardashian during Netflix’s “The Greatest Roast of All Time” on Sunday.
The “GROAT” special was hosted by Kevin Hart and livestreamed on Netflix. The former NFL quarterback was roasted about his divorce from Gisele Bündchen, his appearance, his two retirements, “deflategate” and his FTX investment scandal, among many other sore topics.
Comedian and notorious “Roastmaster General” Jeff Ross served as a producer and kicked off the event, quipping Brady is an example to future generations that “if you work hard, eat right, film the other team’s practices, deflate the balls and have the NFL make new rules just for you, then you, too, can be the third most famous guy in a Dunkin’ Donuts commercial.”
At one point, Ross joked that as a rookie with the Patriots, Brady said to team owner Robert Kraft, “‘I’m the best decision your organization has ever made. Would you like a massage?’” It was an apparent reference to Kraft’s arrest on charges of solicitation of prostitution at a Florida massage parlor in 2019. The charges were later dropped.
Brady, who took most of the joking in stride, took issue with that one. He got up from his seat and told Ross, “Don’t say that s— again,” in a comment picked up by the microphone.
Rob Gronkowski, Julian Edelman, Randy Moss and Drew Bledsoe, who all played with Brady throughout his career, and former New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick took turns roasting the MVP. Peyton Manning also appeared.
Gronkowski talked about how “psyched” he was to have both Brady and Belichick together, saying, “everyone thinks you guys hate each other but I saw it firsthand, you two are exactly alike. You’re both hardasses that hate fun.”
Brady’s rebuttal
In a surprise appearance, Kardashian took to the dais to tease Brady about speculation the two briefly dated last year.
“I’d never say if we did or not, I’d just release the tape,” she said, referring to many headlines inspired by recorded scenes in her life.
Boston-native and Brady fan Ben Affleck revealed that while the two were filming a Super Bowl spot, Brady asked the actor and director to look at his social media comments.
“It was the most toxic thing that I have ever experienced – and that’s saying something,” Affleck joked.
“That doesn’t make you a fan,” he said to Brady’s trolls. “That makes you a b—.”
Will Ferrell appeared as his “Anchorman” character Ron Burgundy, calling Brady a “true Patriot until he was not, of course,” and joking it took Bündchen “13 years to learn what we all know: Tom is boring.”
Brady and Bündchen’s divorce was fodder for many bits throughout the night, with Brady frequently shown sipping his beverage whenever it was mentioned. The former couple jointly announced in October 2022 they were parting ways.
Comedians Bert Kreischer, Tom Segura, Nikki Glaser, Andrew Schulz, Tony Hinchcliffe and Sam Jay had fun taking their shots, with Glaser joking that Brady was “the best to ever play for too long.”
Brady may have seen certain defeat on Sunday but his decadeslong NFL career is nothing short of remarkable.
Over the course of his 23 years as the league’s leading quarterback, Brady won seven Super Rings – six with the Patriots and one with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. He is also a five-time Super Bowl MVP and won three NFL MVP awards.
He first announced his retirement in February 2022. He ended up reversing his decision and returned to the field for one more season with the Bucs before officially retiring last year.
At the end of the roast, Brady finally had the chance to defend himself, saying people had asked him why he agreed to do the event.
“It’s simple,” Brady said. “I can take all the hits. I would have done this earlier but I’ve been too busy winning championships.”
